Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Medical musings

With all this recall going on over at the diner, it really got me thinking about my own past, you know, before I retired, and I was trying to recall my 10+ years as a nurse. In a way, I suppose it was like working at an all night diner, though instead of food, though I did occasionally serve that as well, all too often it was orders for "a Tylenol sandwich with a side order of Sudafed" or several orders for "a nurse's white Russian" (Milk of magnesia in warmed prune juice, also called a "Prunelatta" just in case you were wondering). Occasionally, as I said, it was real food, like PB&J, soup, cereal, oatmeal, ice cream, and the occasional handmixed frappe. Occasionally, I got to play bartender for a few of them as they often had bedtime orders for anything as simple as a Coors light, to a shot of cognac in warm milk, to a Cape Codder for one unusual lady.
Make no mistake, I'm glad I retired, but the patients were fun. One used to seranade me as soon as I got to work. A good number that used to be there were quite blunt individuals and didn't like it when folks tried to sugar coat anything. I remember one used to say, "None of us are going anywhere from here except in the box and I'm not in a rush!" Another used to talk about our frequent visits from the local undertakers, referring to "stretchers and bags." The way she made it sound, anyone who didn't know better, would have thought she was referring to some kind of Goth version of "Chutes and Ladders" (or Snakes and Ladders as I've also heard it called). And people think I'm strange.

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